More foreign affairs in a crazy, mixed-up world
A fool's errand: U.S. "annexation" of Greenland, the non-issue that will not die
Vintage 1947 map of Canada, Alaska, Greenland, and Iceland. Courtesy National Geographic
Just when you thought it might be safe to go back into the waters of the far North Atlantic, the ugly shadow cast by court jester J. Dunderhead Vance has stirred new political rip currents around Greenland. Rather than admit defeat—and cancel his wife Usha’s silly, ill-fated and unwanted tourist visit in March to the world’s largest island—the tone-deaf vice president insisted on turning it into a full-fledged public relations disaster by chaperoning her instead on a visit to Pituffik Space Base—and then criticizing Denmark for “not doing enough” to keep the island safe.
It is a non-issue—a fantasy with no substance, completely fabricated by Trump and his gang of yes-men—that should have been laughed to death the first time the Troll King voiced it. But like so many of the Big Lies told by Trump, it simply will not die the ignominious death it deserves—and betrays the sheer magnitude of the historical ignorance of those who treat anything he blathers as gospel.
Now Vance, whose sense of timing has never been his strong suit, was determined to score points at home with the big boss, who is apparently obsessed with turning Greenland into the site of his next failed casino. Not content with simply lecturing a captive audience of Pituffik personnel on the Dear Leader’s wisdom in all things, Vance then intervened to have the base commander fired for sending out an e-mail (to base personnel only) that tried to distance the base from Vance’s ludicrous political circus. Heavy-handed action by a halfwit—just what the situation demanded.
Former Pituffik Base commander Col. Susannah Meyers (left) gets a red card from a sneering J. D. Vance. Courtesy BBC
Col. Susannah Meyers thus became the latest victim of the ongoing purge of high-ranking women from the U.S. military since Trump took office in January. At the base for just nine months, her alleged e-mail was apparently released by a military news site, informing staff that Vance's comments were “not reflective” of the base. A Pentagon spokesman then cited the article, saying “undermining” U.S. leadership was not to be tolerated. [See “U.S. fires Greenland military base chief for ‘undermining’ J.D. Vance,” April 11, https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/creq99l218do .]
“I do not presume to understand current politics, but what I do know is the concerns of the U.S. administration discussed by Vice President Vance on Friday are not reflective of Pituffik Space Base,” Meyers wrote in her e-mail, sent out to several hundred base personnel. But that e-mail—subversive stuff, indeed!!—apparently infuriated the powers that be. Imagine, trying to calm things down by reminding a military base that it is still governed by military regulations and discipline, not by erratic political whims straight out of a 1940s-era Soviet playbook …
According to CBS News, “Pentagon spokesperson Sean Parnell shared the Military.com article on X late Thursday, and wrote, ‘Actions to undermine the chain of command or to subvert President Trump’s agenda will not be tolerated at the Department of Defense.’” [Italics are the author’s] [See “Space Force commander in Greenland fired,” April 11, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/space-force-greenland-susanna-meyers-fired-trump-vance/ .]
The suddenly misogynistic Department of Defense, taking its cue from the White House, apparently will not tolerate any words—not from a mere woman, at least—that have not been vetted personally by Pete Hegseth, who sings from the same page of the Christian nationalist hymnal as Vance and Trump. In other words, either kiss butt and mimic the robotic Pam Bondi or Kristi Noem—the sycophantic Stepford Wives of Trump’s Wonderland—to out-Trump Trump, or get the hell out of town.
But what really fired them all up, I suspect, was the increasingly pesky Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen—another outspoken woman, of course—who showed up in her own country’s territory, days after Vance left, to link arms with the outgoing and incoming prime ministers and repeat “Greenland is not for sale. Read our collective lips.” … Dangerous words in a world where no one in Washington is interested in truth.
Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, flanked by Greenlandic leaders. Courtesy BBC
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Days after Vance departed from Pituffik, Mette Frederiksen's official visit to Nuuk saw her stand side-by-side with her Greenlandic counterpart Jens-Frederik Nielsen and his predecessor, Mute Egede, according to the BBC. Nielsen formed a new center-right coalition government this week after his party won the March 11 parliamentary elections.
Speaking to reporters, Frederiksen directly addressed Trump, telling him: "You can't annex other countries." She added that Denmark was fortifying its military presence in the Arctic, and offered closer collaboration with the US in defending the region.
Imagine, having the unbridled temerity to tell Trump what he could not do—not with her territory, at least—and still offering “close collaboration,” like the good ally Denmark has been for 80 years. I can hear the jeers and sneers from the Oval Office now. [See “Greenland and Denmark show united front,” April 4, https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cr4nlgwzy6qo .]
A taste of things to come? Frederiksen’s U.S. visa will probably be canceled next for being too combative. We have already seen what happens when a foreign journalist asks the wrong question of anyone in Trump-land—or when the Gulf of Mexico is mentioned. Thin-skinned Marjorie Taylor Greene, the brain-dead cluck from Georgia, and an ardent Hegseth confidant, began screaming at an unlucky Sky News correspondent that “you have no right to be here” at her press conference when pressed to expand on her non-answer to a simple question about Signalgate.
I don’t need a red nose to prove I’m a clown. I finally learned how to clap funny. Courtesy Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call
“We don’t give a crap about your opinion and your reporting. Why don’t you go back to your country?”, she bellowed at British reporter Martha Kelner, who pressed Greene about the so-called Signalgate scandal, in which senior officials from the Trump administration used the encrypted messaging app to discuss a planned military strike in Yemen. Strangely enough, vulgarity seems to suit her. Maybe she should trot out her dog-and-pony manure show in Moscow. [See “Why don’t you go back to your country?”, March 26, https://www.politico.eu/article/marjorie-taylor-greene-uk-reporter-journalist-british-sky-news-donald-trump/ .]
A lot of us who weren’t in the same room that day have the very same question for the crudely undiplomatic Ms. Greene, who yesterday had the unmitigated gall to order the tasering of protesters at her clownlike town hall meetings.
Hear us, oh Dumb One of the new S.S.: we’re already sick of your crazy antics. You are a total embarrassment. You don’t belong on the national stage, so get off it. The Land of Oz—and your MAGA constituents, those unreconstructed rednecks in North Georgia—are calling. Plus we hear your old yoga club is not going so well without you there to mop the floors at midnight … the one thing you might still be able to do well without violent rhetoric or police goons.
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Whether Colonel Meyers’ unfortunate e-mail was particularly prudent—it was certainly pushing the envelope, under the best of circumstances—is beside the point these days in our updated version of Alice in Wonderland, D.C. As the Orange King might say, off with the uppity woman’s head—and in case she didn’t get the message, appoint a man to replace her. She has now joined the dwindling ranks of her distinguished female military counterparts—including the U.S. Navy’s highest-ranking female officer, Vice Admiral Shoshana Chatfield, the U.S. military representative to the NATO Military Committee (that committee’s only female member) one of only a handful of female Navy three-star officers.
She was fired this week because Hegseth had abruptly “lost confidence” in her. Apparently, Hegseth is very selective about who he trusts at any given moment—ask either of his ex-wives or coterie of bimbo girlfriends. A decorated veteran of 37 years and a former helicopter pilot, Chatfield’s name had mysteriously appeared on a list fabricated by the American Accountability Foundation as a convert to “woke ideology”—among names mailed in a letter to His Oiliness, before he was even confirmed.
Vice Admiral Shoshana Chatfield, you’re fired. Photo courtesy Business Week
Weeks earlier, the Navy’s top officer, Admiral Lisa Franchetti, the first woman to become Chief of Naval Operations, was also let go—with no explanation. Just another threatening woman who refused to kiss butt properly?
One would like to challenge Hegseth to write out a list of any female officers in whom he still has confidence—but it would be blank, in all likelihood. I suspect he has been compiling his to-do list since his fabled days in the District of Columbia National Guard, when a suspicious tattoo—originally a Roman Catholic motto, updated to serve more secular purposes, along with a Jerusalem cross on his chest—disqualified him from serving in the honor guard at former President Joe Biden’s inauguration. Must have gotten that tat when he was still drinking … [Ask any self-respecting white supremacist what Deus vult (Latin for “God wills it”) actually means in today’s far-right circles.]
[See “What do Hegseth’s arm tattoos mean”, by Nancy Yousseff, January 25, 2025, Wall Street Journal, https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/pete-hegseth-confirmation-hearing/card/what-do-hegseth-s-arm-tattoos-mean--UCaRqJK65pWFPewARBiF .]
Admiral Lisa Franchetti, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Photo courtesy Sky News
The only sin committed by the female officers, apparently, was another fantasy conjured up by someone like the purple-haired nitwit, Laura Loomer—who Trump pretends not to listen to publicly but seems to drool over privately (“You really don’t want be loomered,” he said, revealingly). Loomer had concocted a crank list for the Orange King of all the women, and even a few unlucky men, left over from the Days of Biden and suspected—by her, at least—of being “woke.”
Envious folks like Loomer are always jealous of anyone who has any credibility, who has ever actually accomplished anything—and inordinantly eager to tear them down.
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As a “reformed” Foreign Service Officer—I walked away from the State Department in 1997—I keep my eyes out for unusual and outrageous events occurring in countries of interest to the United States, particularly those I have served in or visited. This occasionally includes analyses of U.S. actions affecting those countries, whether wise or effective—or neither, as here—and in some cases, simply ignorant and astounding.
I served in Copenhagen from 1985 to 1987, assigned as a junior general services officer to the U.S. embassy there. Then as now, Denmark was a NATO ally, and the U.S. embassy staff was augmented by a large contingent of attaches, from each branch of the service. The Office of Defense Cooperation section handled military assistance and defense-related matters; its subsection, the U.S. Military Assistance Advisory Group (MAAG) office, provided support to the Danish military, including training and equipment assistance.
The land of my great-grandfather’s Viking ancestors, Denmark is like a Scandinavian slice of paradise, expensive but well worth a long visit. It boasts a small but highly respected military of its own, with nearly 20,000 standing forces and an excellent navy, and contributes well beyond its size to global peacekeeping forces. While there I was once offered a trip to Greenland by military buddies, but was unable to take them up on it—something I always regretted.
Until Trump took office again in 2025—and immediately set his greedy eyes upon Greenland with renewed ardor—I don’t think a single unflattering word had ever been uttered by any U.S. government official against the capabilities of the Danish military, who provided security then, as now, to the huge Danish island. Thule Air Base, northernmost U.S. military installation in the world, built in the early 1950s, has long guarded the northwest corner of the island, under a 1949 treaty with Denmark. Just before its name was changed to Pituffik, Queen Margrethe II even visited the base.
Margrethe II, Queen of Denmark, visits Thule in 2021. Public domain photo
Under the old rules, publicly offending an ally was heresy. But NATO, now seen as increasingly irrelevant by Trump, no longer deserves such friendly treatment, he decided. And Denmark, among the smallest of NATO countries, though among the very strongest allies, was suddenly a sitting duck. This was when the gang of imbeciles, led by J. Dunderhead, coalesced around Trump’s unhinged vision of annexation—through a forced sale or other means—with veiled threats of military occupation if the Danes did not carry out his wishes.
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As recently as 1962, “woke” had an entirely different audience. Courtesy New York Times
Trump’s Keystone Kops may be entirely unaware of the historical meaning of “woke,” the word Ron de Santis and others have wrongly appropriated from the black civil rights lexicon. According to a recent history lesson published by the NAACP, “Black people have never been silent—or at a loss for innovation—when articulating demands for justice. In fact, the use of ‘woke’ as an in-group signal urging Black people to be aware of the systems that harm and otherwise put us at a disadvantage is documented as far back as the 1920s.” [See “How ‘Woke’ went from black to bad,” https://www.naacpldf.org/woke-black-bad/ .]
“If You’re Woke You Dig It,” a 1962 essay for the New York Times by the then Harlem-based writer William Melvin Kelley, highlighted the phenomenon of Black American slang being appropriated by white people who often missed or altogether distorted the words’ original meanings, until the idioms were taken over, inevitably transformed, and ultimately abandoned by their original Black creators.
Whatever that badly-abused term actually means today, it has the same effect as Joseph McCarthy’s list of “26 Communists in the State Department.” Anyone still around after being appointed by Joe Biden was automatically guilty—without any shred of proof—of being incapable of taking orders from His Oiliness, or more likely, the petty orange-haired emperor with no clothes at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
In the headlong rush to rid the government of all things possibly associated with DEI, remember, the Defense Department had earlier removed photos of former baseball idol Jackie Robinson from its website—never once considering how a long-dead black World War II officer could possibly have been a secret propagandist for left-wing moles still working to undermine the Brave New World from beyond the grave. Robinson himself was probably rolling overf in his grave, laughing.
But for the misguided ship of fools who started scouring every DoD website at Hegseth’s order for any mention of DEI, Robinson seemed heaven-sent, conveniently, like some kind of unwanted symbol, a reminder of things Hegseth would rather not be reminded of—like meritocracy, or common sense, or equality.
Mind you, Robinson’s photo was quietly restored without explanation, to avoid further public ridicule, but not without causing heartburn in the upper ranks of Hegseth’s new military council, the old-boy Signal chat group.
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God and Laura Loomer want you to roll up your sleeves and flash your bicep tattoo, Pete. Courtesy Pentagon video
His Oiliness has yet to visit Pituffik, but following J. Dunderhead’s lead, he will doubtless appear there in the near future. Of course, he may be holding out for an official invitation to the capital, Nuuk, from Greenland’s new prime minister—not needed to visit Pituffik Space Base, of course—but his overweening ego still wants to be stroked appropriately.
Old habits die hard. He needs—no, he burns with desire—to be the center of attention. But he is, at core, simply a fool. And subject to being “Loomered” himself tomorrow. If he had any practical grasp of the situation, he would put his political lust on the back burner—either until he grows up (unlikely) or accepts the inevitable limits of his boss’s hubris (even less likely). For the moment, no one there is interested in hearing his prattle in person.
What he has so far failed to comprehend is that Greenland’s 57,000 people do want to be independent, gradually, and their leaders have made that quite clear to Denmark and the world. Independence will come. They fully intend to remain friendly to the United States. But they do NOT want to be American. So even after independence—in five or 10 or 20 years, however long it takes—the new country’s desire to book Trump & Hegseth’s prime-time annexation circus tour may be a long time coming.
Like Vance, Hegseth needs to start reading something beside the transcripts of Fox News and the poisonous love notes passed out by the likes of the thoroughly-discredited but still-frightening Laura Loomer.
Next time: More foreign affairs in a crazy, mixed-up world